Corporate decision making

Andre

Boy Racer
A Japanese auto company and an American auto company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.

The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior
management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing. So, the American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion.

They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing. To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program", with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There
was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles.


Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved, was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was outsourced to India..
 
Was the consulting company Accenture...:wall

I work at JPMorgan Chase for 4 years, Accenture got in and sugested wide sweeping changes for the way things are managed...after two years all was ditched and the company swapped it all back, Now I am Lloyds, Accenture have come up with exactly the same shit...

I'm sure my Damager could tell by my face that I thought it was a complete waste of time and money...:wall

Accenture must give their newbie consultants a pack of what to say and do, regardless of the company, Why doesn't anyone challenge the turd polishing...
 
tell me about it!

Accenture make my life hell trying to sell software solutions! they are connected at the high level, they all used to wank over the same biscuit at public school with corporate managers and then they have more control over a company than the company itself!

if you spend enough time, money and freebies with them then they will tell the CEO and CFO that you are a great solution!

the industry is riddled with Acc screw ups and money wasted!

just look at what happened with Sainsburys! it was supposed to be 'your mess for less'! now Sainsburys have taken IT back in house as Acc added sod all value, cost them a load more so it was in fact your mess for more!

oh yeah btw we completely screwed up your ability to manage orders over the web last xmas but no worries and here is another huge bill for our graduates resources which we charge out for a fortune and cream loads of proft!

what a joke they are!!
 
Back
Top