Alice R.
Boy Racer
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats
and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon,
though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A
Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940
when tea supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."
The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was
during the great fire of 1666 which left London in rubble.
Also, the French government announced yesterday in Paris that it has raised
its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a
recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French who are on a heightened level of
alert.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective
Combat
Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to
"Dress in Excellent Uniforms and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two
higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Bite Off more than you can chew."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy
can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. .....
End of briefing.
and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon,
though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A
Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940
when tea supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."
The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was
during the great fire of 1666 which left London in rubble.
Also, the French government announced yesterday in Paris that it has raised
its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a
recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French who are on a heightened level of
alert.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective
Combat
Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to
"Dress in Excellent Uniforms and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two
higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Bite Off more than you can chew."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy
can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. .....
End of briefing.
