Great quotes

Gastro

Gastro

Commando
Been searching some websites for a quote to finish off my presentation next week.

Love this....

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.

Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955), when asked to describe radio

:D :D

Anyone have any favorites ?
 
Gastro said:
Been searching some websites for a quote to finish off my presentation next week.

Love this....

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.

Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955), when asked to describe radio

:D :D

Anyone have any favorites ?
Click to expand...
I'd deffo give you the job if you rounded of your presentation with something like that!
I presume you are changing careers to stand up comedian intro man?
 
"if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such." - Homer Simpson



:rolleyes:
 
slider said:
I'd deffo give you the job if you rounded of your presentation with something like that!
I presume you are changing careers to stand up comedian intro man?
Click to expand...

<cough> No - but maybe its a possibility if I don't get this job............ :p

Perahps though you could look at the top right of your screen and look at your PM I sent you 48hrs ago ;)

One thing is for certain - you ain't getting this job :finger
 
Some great ones from Woody Allen - non of which will be going into my presentation !

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

and....

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.


:D
 
When you see a black man with a limp, it doesnt mean he's got a bad leg



When you see a brother in a wheel chair it doesn’t necessarily mean he's disabled



Eddie Murphy
 
InsBro said:
When you see a black man with a limp, it doesnt mean he's got a bad leg



When you see a brother in a wheel chair it doesn’t necessarily mean he's disabled



Eddie Murphy
Click to expand...

ROTFLMAO so non PC only a black guy can get away with saying that :D
 
“Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.”
Henny Youngman

And God said, “Let there be vodka!” And He saw that it was good. Then God said, “Let there be light!” And then He said, “Whoa - too much light.”

If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows crashed... Oh wait! He does!

I believe there's something in the Bible about 'Thou shalt not call anyone insane who owns and is competent with more firearms than you own sharp sticks’.

“I want them to play Britney Spears at my funeral. This way I won't feel so bad about being dead, and everyone there will know there is something worse than Death.”
Gary Numan

"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
William James

"Some people think a song without words isn't a real song. Tell that to Beethoven and he'll kick your ass!"
Eddie Van Halen

"The biggest reason against public transportation: the public."
Mark Denovich

"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss."
Lazarus Long


As you can see I like quotes...... however my favourite...

“I divide officers into four classes -- the clever, the lazy, the stupid and the industrious. Each officer possesses at least two of these qualities.
Those who are clever and industrious are fitted for the high staff appointments. Use can be made of those who are stupid and lazy. The man who is clever and lazy is fit for the very highest commands. He has the temperament and the requisite nerves to deal with all situations. But whoever is stupid and industrious must be removed immediately.”

Attributed, circa 1933
General Baron Kurt von Hammerstein-Equord (1878-1943)
German Chief of Army Command (1930-33)


PS What a name!
 
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